A woman in engineering is different than a man in mechanical engineering. Not better not worse but different. I'll try the things that annoy you and help you if you are from the real world to speak.
Please note'm always apply here that not everything that I wanted to say is. (Many of them do not even apply to me, as a relatively large women with very masculine speech patterns.) These are common generalizations, but I can not do anything interesting to generalize, I do not speak.
Physiology
Men and women have physiological differences, as you may have noticed. You would think that there is no difference at work, but it works.
Temperature
Women, now prepare cold comfort at work for the rest of your life.
Those of you who have taken thermodynamics, know that the heat is a function of volume (radius cubed), while heat dissipation is a function of the surface (radius squared). So the generation that is losing money as the radius, so that the smaller you are, the cooler you will be. In addition, because women menstruate, they are more susceptible to anemia, which also shows cold. I've also read that women are much tighter tolerances on their core temperature regulation, to have to offer for a better environment for the growing potential fetus. So if a woman's core temperature drops by a little, all the blood from the extremities is drawn back to the core, and freeze their hands and feet. If men decreases core temperature by a little, then it falls a little, and nothing happened - so their hands and feet stay still.
Toss that the ultimate control of thermostats building is generally large, well-fed men in three parts in south window offices and you will freeze a lot. When I work, I would always bring a coat to work with me, even in high summer.
Now before you go and look to beat the next guy, because they are so insensitive that men are often hot - especially in a tie and a nice wool adapt! I also have some things I hold that part of why women live an average of eight years than men to see their superior temperature control system lead to believe. I do not know if this is true or not, but believe it is my great comfort. On bad days I can sit there and think, bad thoughts about the men responsible for the thermostats, "I can freeze, but you will die"
Carpal tunnel
In addition to the cold in my experience women seem more susceptible to carpal tunnel syndrome. I have a friend whose theory is that since people on the broad shoulders and her hand Spand larger, they have not such a big trip when hopping from keyboard to mouse or range of funky buttons. My anecdotal evidence is that the Sun keyboards with two keys between semicolon and return the worst way.
It may be that tables and chairs are the wrong size for people who are much larger or smaller than the average. This can lead to neck strain, back strain, eye strain, cause the brain stem, whatever. If you start all these problems, deal with it immediately. Repetitive stress injuries do not go away with time they get worse. Ask for a monitor stand to put another chair, the computer on a box obtained the floor, a new desk, whatever. And do not feel bad for you to ask: a new desk and chair is cheaper for society than two years of physical therapy.
Language
You must be careful how you ask for a suitable job, and that brings me to the other big difference between men and women: the language.
Phrase all like a win-win
Do not go into your boss's office, throw a hissy fit, and say that you need new furniture NOW! Negative style points. Whenever possible, explain your ideas in terms of how they benefit the other person, not like it's worth it for you. Women tend to be more sympathetic, so tend to expect more sympathy. Forget it. You have to help them understand why they do what you want to do them.
Learn to say no "Na
You must also have said "no" good. If the boss says: "We would like to write a statistical process control package for our line in a month," the response, not "you're out of your mind," nor is it "can not be done." The appropriate response is: "Well, we could do that, but only if we set about five hire contractors and six computers for development." It may be that the project is important enough that they are willing to do just that.
If your boss really pushing you and basically says you to do everything around in a month you have to say to your boss, "I will do the best I can to this to get ready in a month, but do me go on record as stating that I feel that this timetable is aggressive enough that it is not possible for everyone to do. "If you back that up with better examples of the completion time for similar projects, the . Put it in writing and keep one for your files, even better.
This is very important. The saddest case I ever saw a woman not fit into the culture, was to know one of the sweetest women you'd ever want. She was universally highly regarded technical. And they used to call to process very difficult.
She is so sweet, when they ask them to do impossible things, they would surrender at the end with relative ease because they wanted to be nice. She had her brain working out, day in and day out, evenings, weekends, all the time, get all frazzled. Then when it got near term and it was not ready, they would start to come down on them, and they would explode only. She had to go completely non-linear. And no one would understand what they deposed. So they had to be nailed to work hard for.
This was obviously very frustrating for them, it would be even worse next time. It was very sad. Here was a man, a lot of time very unhappy and a company that spent a great resource lost. Moral: learn to say no! And if you do not say no, you better darn-Shootin 'to keep safe your boss to be well informed about your progress.
Speak Up!
In general, you should not wait until the people with you for your survey to poll the status for your needs and desires. You have to talk and tell them yourself, it is a fellowship in General Engineering - the Elizabeth Ruff Scholarship - whose name basically says that for sweet, unpretentious, modest girl. (Yes, it really does say, "Girl.") I read the criteria and said. "If you win my deepest sympathy This is practically a recipe for failure in the technology at work." Especially in meetings, can not wait until they say, "Well, Marilyn feel like you do about it" They have a long wait.
Expression of certainty
Also on arrogance, I have a friend that if a man thinks, the answer is three, said he observed, "The answer is three." If a woman knows the answer is three is, they say: "I think the answer is three." Women are more timid. This is not necessarily bad - you can do is end up with a higher credibility than the man who insisted that the answer is three, if it really holds seventeen ... but may look washed out.
Not personally take
Men also take things less personally. You will cry and scream and call each other bloody idiots on a technical point of view, then go have a beer together. The fact that someone does not mean not like a particular idea that you absolutely that they do not like or respect. You can only lack of diplomacy. If someone in your face, it's probably because he or she feels responsible for the control, but not of something. This is a deadly combination.
If some guy gets in common with you, what should I do: Suppose he had an argument with his wife was in a fender bender, has come up with $ 3,000 to repair his roof, and left his wallet at home. Then I feel sorry for him and see if you make their day better.
This can be some very nice results. This man, famous for transporting abusive to my office, but was angry, and started on my desk with his fist. amp;!" Ich ließ ihn toben und rasen, bis er unten Wunde und sagte dann:" Ja, gut, wir haben sehr gut sein">"You damned groupcan'tdoshitright #$*(( R *@&$#%(*#$&!" I let him rave and rave, until it wound down and said," Yeah, well, we have to be very good screwed up, let's take a look at it. "
That stopped him dead in his tracks! He was such a fight that he did not know quite what to do when I fight not twisted. We looked at the code and it turned out that he screwed up. I showed him what he had done wrong, explained what to do he needs to fix it, and told him if he would go to address right away, I would stay late to personally supervise my group, a part of it so that it would be willing to move to first, to what the morning.
It was priceless! He just kind of slipped away and never gave me any problems after that. My friend Anne tells of an almost identical occurrence with customers from hell, so it was not just me.
Accept Blame Properly
Accepting blame can be really useful. Not only to defuse situations such as this, jerk, but also for establishing credibility. If you say, "Yes, I screwed" if you do screw up, then when you say "No, that was my fault," people will want to believe.
do Well, if you accept guilt NOT crawl. DO no excuses. I worked with a woman who would spend five minutes trying to apologize for a loser ... and then exactly the same failure next week. Remorse and apologies are not useful: I would like to correct the problem.
"I'm sorry
I'm not clear to Mike that you use the files must be provided.
I will personally go now a new kernel - it should be ready at about 4:30.
I'll go make a comment in the readme file, which files are used. "
(Note that if a child screws accept up to you to blame as your fault. If it is something wrong, you did not train them right, you have them inadequate instructions or equipment or has done something. If they owe you look like a sissy. If you want to protect your employees, but they will follow you through the depths of hell.)
Uncertainty
Well, some people really nervous, less competent than the idea of admission of guilt, fear that it may seem to them.
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